Wife of a Diabetic - Hello and Welcome

“I may grieve what is lost, but I am committed to living well with what is. I face my present reality with creativity and vigor. I find new ways to make my life rewarding.” –Like this quote

Hello everyone,

My name is Helen B. and I live in Suffolk County, NY. I am a 37-year-old mother to two adorable little boys who constantly keep me on my toes. Professionally, I am a psychotherapist in private practice (specializing in family therapy and child and adolescent mental health issues), and adjunct professor at Adelphi and Long Island Universities.

In sickness and in health:

I am happily married to a Type I diabetic (he was diagnosed 3 years after we married) and I know only too well the joys and sorrows of living with an illness that you can never “turn off.” It is a disease from which you can never escape. You are faced with its challenges 24 hours a day-7 days a week. It is a constant, unwanted companion, for both the person personally affected, as well as his/her family.

Unfortunately, there is not a great deal of understanding by the general public about what this disease is really all about (e.g., “So, he has diabetes… All he needs to do is take some insulin and he’s fine!!!!”) and the myriad ways (physical, psychological, social, etc.) in which a diabetic and his/her family are affected. I am starting this blog for spouses of diabetics as a place to sort out diabetes related information, give and receive support and encouragement, and discuss the inevitable struggles of living with this disease.

As a doctoral candidate at Adelphi University, I have been working on a study on coping strategies and marital adjustment in wives of Type I diabetics. As a researcher, practitioner, and wife of a diabetic, I have become very interested in learning more about the disease in order to help not only my spouse, but also myself, as well as other diabetics (and their families) that I am certain to encounter in my professional as well as personal life.

I have been on this frustrating research journey for the last two years. Choosing another topic would have certainly led to quicker results, but I believe in this study’s worth. Moreover, I believe that it will lead to more of a focus on the varied needs of well spouses, which until now has been a relatively unexamined, albeit important topic. Hopefully, my research can shed some light on how to best help spouses (in this case wives) of diabetics with respect to building or increasing adaptive coping strategies, which will enable them to deal more effectively and more positively with the numerous physical, psychological, and social stressors that invariably plague a relationship interrupted by chronic illness.